My Relationship With Alcohol

Over the past couple of years I have been reflecting on alcohol and how it plays a part in my life. I was never a big drinker. I would call myself a social drinker, I would occasionally have a glass of wine at home after a long day but more often than not I would have alcohol when I was around friends. There was a period in my life where I didn't drink any alcohol. It was a period the spiritual community would call the dark night of the soul. I would call it my peeling back the layers era of building a relationship with myself. This was a period when I was doing a lot of healing work and to be honest I didn't really have the desire to drink. So it happened naturallthere wasn't a goal or a decision to not drink anymore. Over the last couple of years since my period of being alcohol free. Whenever I would have a glass of wine, I would get super anxious. It would keep up up at night or I would have a bad sleep because my body was extremely hot or even worse I would end up vomiting.

My body was having a very strong reaction to alcohol. My body was talking to me through symptoms and instead of supressing the feelings, I choose to listen to my body. In the beginning I was sad about this reaction. I loved wine and I loved going to wine country. I romantiized about it, doing girls trips or weekened getaways. I was completely okay going out to dinners or drinks with friends and ordering non-alcoholic drinks, oddly enough that never bothered me. It was this wine country story I had in my head. This past summer while I was living in British Columbia, I had the opportunity to go on a wine tour with my friends. I did choose to drink and then reflect on my experience after. I realized that as fun as it seemed in the moment, that evening and how I felt after wasn't really worth it to me anymore. I had experienced so much peace in my body during the period of time without drinking that I knew what was working for me and what wasn't. This allowed me to be able to make peace with that story I had in my head about and re-write a new story. One where I honoured what my body was telling me and work with it.

Right now in this phase of life, my body doesn't find drinking alcohol to be beneficial. Maybe, one day I will be able to drink a glass of wine if I feel called to and not feel gross after. Until then I am loving waking up feeling great, having great sleeps and enjoying, teas and sparking waters.